


Masturbation Headcanons for the Pedro Boys

by Slater_Babe



Series: Headcanons by Slater [4]
Category: Kingsman (Movies), Narcos (TV), Prospect (2018), Star Wars - All Media Types, The Great Wall (2017), The Mandalorian, The Mentalist, triple frontier - Fandom
Genre: Dirty Talk, F/M, Fantasizing, Gen, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Morning Wood, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn Magazines, Porn Video, Porn Watching, Sex Toys, Stress Relief, headcanons, mentioned blood kink, mentioned pain kink, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:21:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29943045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slater_Babe/pseuds/Slater_Babe
Summary: Reposted from my Tumblr: 2k of explicit, detailed headcanons about how the Pedro Boys get themselves going.
Relationships: Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You, Ezra (Prospect 2018)/Reader, Ezra (Prospect 2018)/You, Francisco "Catfish" Morales/Reader, Francisco "Catfish" Morales/You, Jack | Whiskey (Kingsman)/Reader, Jack | Whiskey (Kingsman)/You, Javier Peña/Reader, Javier Peña/You, Marcus Pike/Reader, Marcus Pike/You, Pero Tovar/Reader, Pero Tovar/You
Series: Headcanons by Slater [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139888
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	Masturbation Headcanons for the Pedro Boys

**Author's Note:**

> I lowkey forgot to post this here akjdlkad If you didn't already know all my stuff is posted between here and Tumblr, including my headcanons because AO3 will always hold a special place in my heart~ I was so focused on High Rise this week that I almost forgot to put this here!!! I'm gonna be pretty busy this week because I have midterms this week, but I think I'm gonna do a few single scenes, maybe a small Drabble for Din this week too!! I've also been thinking about getting in on Casual Cowboy Friday, so lemme know if you all would be interested in something like that!! As always my Tumblr is linked below~ I hope you all are having a great week!!!
> 
> My Tumblr: [slater-baby](https://slater-baby.tumblr.com)

**Din Djarin**

\- He definitely doesn’t do it too often (simply because he legitimately doesn’t have the time for it), but he’s in desperate need of stress relief every once in a while, so when it gets to that breaking point, he’ll throw in the towel.

\- Mando definitely has the occasional wet dream purely because he’s either too exhausted or too jaded to recognize his own needs. On those days, if he wakes up right after cumming, he’ll enjoy the unconscious relief, but otherwise, it’s more of an inconvenience than anything.

\- When he masturbates, he gets straight to the point. He’s so pent-up most of the time that by the time he’s got his fly unzipped, he’s already hard and leaking (I’m also a firm believer in the headcanon that Mando leaks A LOT of precum).

\- He lives his life behind a metal wall, always subscribing first to his own honor rather than to his own wellbeing, so when it comes to pleasuring himself, he gets it done quick, fast, and with no fuss.

\- I like to think, however, that Mando has one or two old holotapes he’d bought some time ago that he’ll occasionally get off to. They’re both solo tapes, a great showcase of the stars’ naked bodies and how they manipulate them, and he can’t get enough of the impropriety he sees every time he watches them. He’ll die before anyone knows he owns them, though.

**Javier P**

\- Javi doesn’t jerk off often--not only because he’s busy as all hell--but because he’ll pay a girl from the brothel for that kind of satisfaction before he even thinks about his own hand.  
However, when he DOES get off, Javier knows every movement to get himself moaning. He knows his own body inside and out. He knows how to move his wrist to get the best friction, how to fuck his own fist until he’s moaning in the empty air of the apartment.

\- Javi’s loud when he’s jerking off purely because he’s just that fucking good at it. He’ll play himself like a fucking harp, and by the time he’s dripping over his own knuckles, he’ll be shouting his own praises. He knows he knows what he's doing--both with himself and a partner--and he’s not afraid to brag about it.

\- Javier has a few Playboys laying around, and he’ll flick through them occasionally, soaking up the softness of the models’ breasts, the fullness of their asses. He’ll only stoop to that level if he’s having a bad night; usually, he has no trouble getting himself turned on.

\- Javier has definitely owned a few sex toys before--that, or he owns them currently. Since the main events happen in the early 90s (before fleshlights were invented; yes, I just had to google that), Javi’s jerked himself off with Pocket Pussies during the nights he really couldn’t give a fuck. I also think that towards the end of his time at the DEA, Javi stopped fucking around as much, but also wasn’t too receptive to the idea of a realtionship, hence why he finally shelled out and spent his money on one. He’s embarrassed to admit how hard he cums every time he uses it. 

**Frankie M**

\- Frankie has an _insane_ sex drive. You’d never guess it from how shy and sweet he comes off as, but he’ll go multiple times in a row, just because he can never quite take the edge off the first time around. He also may or may not have a thing for going until he’s over-sensitive...if he does, though, that’s purely for himself to know, not anybody else.

\- Frankie’s not usually super dominant in bed, but when he’s by himself, he gives himself the privilege of fantasizing about whatever his brain can come up with. He’s open to anything as long as it’ll keep him hard, and his internet history is a testament to that. However, he’d never have the guts to bring everything he’s dreamt of up to his partner, if he had one.

\- Frankie, though he’s quiet and utterly professional when the situation calls for it, definitely struggles with getting turned on in public. He always feels so bad about it--like he’s done something wrong every time it happens. Maybe it’s a coworker that’s particularly well-put-together, or maybe it’s just a topic of conversation that goes a bit off the rails, but if it speaks to him right, he’ll be hard in his pants before he can even remind himself that now is not the time for it. He just gets turned on easily, and with his insatiable tastes, it’s really fucking difficult to ignore.

\- Frankie has never been the most confident about his body, but when he’s jerking off, none of that matters. He feels good when he’s fucking his fist, with those deep, buzzing waves of pleasure in his stomach to keep him going regardless of whether or not he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

**Whiskey**

\- Whiskey is almost brazen about his own masturbation. He’ll talk about it freely when it comes down to it. He’s definitely not afraid of anyone knowing what his tastes are, that’s for sure.  
Like Javi, he’s got the experience to back up his own endeavors. He knows what buttons he needs to push to get results, but--unlike Javi--he’s not quick or efficient about it in the least. Jack is the biggest tease there is, both to his partners and to himself sometimes: he takes his time every time he gets off, and it’s never half-assed.

\- He’s the ultimate fan of slow fucking. He likes to stroke himself slow and long rather than hard or fast. He gets himself off regularly enough to never be desperate for it. He’d rather cum all over his knuckles yearning for a faster pace than giving into his body’s demands. It’s more gratifying than any 5 minute quickie he’d ever had.

\- Jack watches _a lot_ of porn. He doesn’t like solo videos, though. He prefers the long winded, well-filmed, hour-long movies, and he is hardly afraid to admit he’s even bought a few of them in the heat of the moment.

\- Jack’s also just brazen enough to let you watch them with him, if you ask him.

**Ezra**

\- Ezra is a fucking freak. This man is locked in a tent or spacesuit 24/7, stranded on a toxic moon with nothing but his own body to keep himself company. He’s got a few screws loose in the head. He talks to himself in ways that would have even the boldest motherfuckers balking twice at his choice of words. That being said, Ezra’s into anything that’ll give him an orgasm, and if that includes personal injury, he’s hardly going to skimp on his own pleasure.

\- Ezra definitely gets off on being in pain, and he’s certainly let every single one of his coworkers know it one way or another. Not because he’s gotten off with them in the room or anything like that (or got off on the bruises they left him with when they eventually turned on him), but rather because he just _never shuts up_. He’s the definition of “Careful, I might like it,” and now that he’s working by himself, if he comes home with a few bullet holes or stab wounds in his body, the next thing he’s doing after first aid is jerking off.

\- Ezra is so, so lonely. He gets off multiple times a week--sometimes multiple times _a day_ , if he’s _that_ frustrated. He’s loud when he’s getting off. He’ll talk to himself while he’s doing it, too, because there’s no way in hell this man doesn’t enjoy the sound of his own voice to an almost unsettling degree. Ezra also doesn’t take any measures to be subtle about what he’s doing. He’ll strip down to nothing sometimes, just to take care of himself, purely because he’s got no one to cater to but himself.

\- Ezra is a HUGE fan of edging. He’ll edge himself until his cock is red and twitching; he won’t stop until his knuckles are wet and his voice is raw from moaning. Only when he’s tortured his cock to the point of near overstimulation will he let himself cum, and he’s never quiet when he hits the peak.

**Marcus Pike**

\- Marcus is busy with his own life, so he doesn’t get off too much. Also, since he’s had a bad history with his own romances, he isn’t too fond of the act of masturbating in and of itself. When he gets off, though, for as much as he just wants to relieve the ache and get it over with, he always ends up taking his time, too addicted to the feeling of his hands around his cock to stop short.

\- He only masturbates before bed. Though, if he wakes up with morning wood, he’ll jerk stroke himself until he falls back asleep, right on the edge of bliss.

\- Marcus is homely and romantic. He doesn’t get desperate enough to fuck his own fist or buy a sex toy. His own hands are more than enough, and he rarely watches porn anymore. Maybe when he was younger, he’d jerk off in front of the computer, but now, he’ll really only get going if the feeling comes naturally.

\- For Marcus, pleasuring himself is almost comforting in some sense. A warm hand wrapped around his shaft, just enjoying the secluded atmosphere, where he’s free to bear his skin and give into his desires without fear of rejection. Masturbation always leaves him feeling better afterwards, and he takes advantage of the endorphins anytime he’s in need.

**Pero Tovar**

\- His lifestyle is hardly conducive to getting off. He’s constantly surrounded by the presence of other mercenaries. Not to mention the fact that, should they find a good spot to settle down for the night, it’s usually in the thick of the wilderness, where keeping one eye open while you sleep is more important than taking care of your own needs.

\- When he does have the chance to jerk off, he’s fucking animalistic with it. He likes it hard, fast, and rough. Oddly enough, he likes to keep his hands dry when he does it; there’s just something about the near-painful brush of his rough palms against his own shaft that has his mind blanking every time.

\- When he gets sick of dry hands, though, he’s more than happy to spit on his own palms, slicking his cock up with it, until he’s groaning and growling at the sensation.  
He’s also surprisingly vocal. For a man as gruff as him, you’d never expect it, but he’s the definition of ‘dominant’ when it comes to partners. So, when he’s just by himself, overflowing with pent-up rage and tragedy (and doesn’t have anyone to expend it on), he’ll moan through his release, fucking his own hand with an impatience none of the other Pedro boys can muster. 

\- In a time before porn, the closest things Pero has to that sort of luxury are skimpy barmaids and bustling brothels. However, living life on the move (especially with his kind of reputation) doesn’t lend itself to expending excess energy on anything other than his sword, so brothels are usually out of the question. He’ll admit to having stared down a few barmaids’ tunics, though, purely because the sight was there for the taking, and, hell, does he like to take.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: [slater-baby](https://slater-baby.tumblr.com)


End file.
